Me Current wife’s a beauty, so she’s this year’s Valentine.
With elevated status, she’s no middy – she’s a Stein.
This sheila’s up there with ‘em, so she’s got me vote this year.
The clip-clop of her wooden peg, is music to me ear.

She’ll proudly walk behind me, with the Esky and me kids.
And roll me smokes before I ask – I wouldn’t swap for quids.
I love the way she eyes me off – her glass eye even glows.
And when she gives that toothless smile, I love her cute flat nose.

Some tarts I’ve had, got uppity, and tried to run the show.
A bloke would be a drongo not to tell them where to go.
This sheila doesn’t try to lead, she knows to stay behind.
She’s noticed that it’s smarter when you’re nearly deaf and blind.

My secrets are all safe with her, cos this bird’s not a talker.
My record’s in the bottle now – she’s a bloomin’ corker.
I never hear her whinge at morning when she loads the ute,
before she brings me brekky in – so cute and beaut and mute.

She mixes concrete expertly, and without a mixer,
lays a thousand bricks a day, then helps the ceiling fixer.
You don’t find many like her, and she won’t stop till I’ve said.
She’ll only pause to wipe the sweat away from her bald head.

Because she’s ‘This Year’s Valentine’, I’ll knock off some flowers,
And give her breakfast in her bed, and let her sleep for hours.
We‘ll share the day together, and I won’t send her to work.
We’ll bask in love and harmony - together we will shirk.

Between us we’ve a pair of legs, ‘cos I’ve got one leg too.
So Darling, you can lean on me and I’ll hang on to you.
Today you are my Valentine – let us both get blotto.
And celebrate the million bucks, you just won on Lotto.